Upscale Mongering

Since my Dad also wrote poetry, our back-and-forth greeting cards often focused on the topic of, well, writing poems.  I gave him this one on Father's Day in 1995. If you've forgotten what was going on in the news that year, read on...

HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
Copyright 2011 by Roger B. Stone

How hard can it be to write a verse

That's warm or wise or witty?

For you and me it takes two secs

To pen an intelligent ditty.

So who are these guys that write the crap

That's stocking all the shelves?

They must be washed-up seasonal help

Like Santa's laid-off elves.

Say, maybe you and I should start

A business writing cards.

A highbrow venture of the mind

For two um...mortal bards.

We'd never stoop to age, or sex,

Or fishing, golf, or drinking.

We'd stick to wordly topics

So our cards would get folks thinking.

Of course it might be tricky

Using Chechnya in a rhyme.

And Bosnia-Herzegovina

Just might take a little time.

It's kinda tough, but I found a way

To make a rhyme with Cali –

But we'd need a big eruption

Or an armed revolt on Bali.

Well then, there's always Castro

and the goings-on in Cuba.

A well-constructed verse might say

That he's their...uh...Grand Poobah?

I've tried to rhyme with Clinton

But my efforts really stunk.

And when it comes to Gingrich, um...

Aw screw it - let's get drunk!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY 1995!