The Fountain of Youth

Can't remember what inspired me to riff on Einstein's famous mass-energy equivalence formula. This one's got one of my favorite words, "defenestration," in it.  But please don't hold me to the physics!

THE ULTIMATE VACATION

Copyright 2011 by Roger B. Stone

Our concept of time is subjective, you see.

(Don't ask Albert E. to deny it.)

He said, "Square MC and you're bound to get E."

With curved time and space. Do you buy it?

By squirting through wormholes and other phenomena,

At speeds that are faster than light,

You can travel the distance from here to Andromeda,

And get home by bedtime – last night!

The key to this matter is acceleration,

Thus greater velocities seek.

It's an intergalactic defenestration,

A window in time, so to speak.

If you leave here tomorrow and come back today,

You're not moving quickly enough.

The trick is to get back last week, so you borrow,

From all that primordial stuff.

If you save up the years and the months and the days,

They'll increase at a logarithmic rate.

You can lay by the pool and absorb the sun's rays,

And actually rejuvenate.

So go on a cosmic vacation each year.

Don't the travel brochures sound divine?

By taking a luxury cruise without peer,

You can always remain twenty-nine.