Political Suicide!

I started writing this song many years ago but never got past the first verse and chorus.  It has a reggae beat, and in my head Sting is singing it.  But since it's about an election, it has a pretty short shelf-life.  So every four years I'd think about finishing it, but I'd miss the boat and have to drop it for another four years.  And then, in 2016, Donald Trump came along and started running his bizarro presidential campaign, and THAT inspired me to get serious about completing my song.  Of course I had to completely rewrite most of the words, but the idea, the structure, and the tune remain the same.

So after a decade or two on the shelf, here is....

Political Suicide

(The Ballad of a Trumped-Up Campaign)

Copyright 2016 by Roger B. Stone

I’m running, I’m running, but in the wrong direction

I’m trying, I’m trying, to win the big election

I'm leading, I'm leading, but everyone says they hate me

I’m warning you, warning you, never underestimate me

I’ll build a big wall to keep out all the killers and rapists

I’m pro-life and pro-choice to piss-off left-wingers and papists

I’m closing the border to foreigners… well, not the good ones

Maybe that’s why my policies tend to be misunderstood ones

They call it, they call it… political suicide

The candidates, you know they can run, but they cannot hide

The waves of public opinion go in and out with the tide

Oh, they tell me, tell me, I’m committing political suicide

I’m gonna tear down the Department of Edification

My supporters say going to school causes too much frustration

I don’t see the value of environmental protection

Global warming just might accelerate natural selection

I’ll cancel trade deals that are killing the strength of our nation

The Chinese will bow to my great skill at negotiation

I’m making America great again, you can believe it

I just wish I had some idea about how to achieve it

They call it, they call it… political suicide

The candidates, you know they can run, but they cannot hide

The waves of public opinion go in and out with the tide

Oh, they tell me, tell me, I’m committing political suicide

I’m not a misogynist… big, ugly women adore me

I’m not an iconoclast… cherished beliefs simply bore me

Don’t call me a demagogue… my words are always distorted

I’m not xenophobic... I just want you losers deported

I’m joking, I’m joking, I’m not really runnin' for nothing

Can’t you see, can't you see, my campaign is all full of stuffing

It’s just a publicity stunt that you’ll always remember

Better hope, better hope that it all falls apart by November

They call it, they call it… political suicide

The candidates, you know they can run, but they cannot hide

The waves of public opinion go in and out with the tide

And I know, yes I know, I’m committing political suicide

That’s right…
I know, yes I know, I’m committing political suicide